Height - 31 inches (90%)
Weight - 27 lb (95%)
Head Circumfrence - 19 inches (90%)
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Big Day
Today Richard and I both took off work because it was going to be a big day. First we went and got Victor's 1 Year portraits done. He was a good sport but was really getting tired and cranky toward the end. Then Richard and I dropped Victor off at daycare and had a rare middle of the week middle of the day date. We went and saw Harry Potter at the Alamo Drafthouse. Was a good movie though not as good as the books, but movies never are. Afterward we went and picked up the pictures and picked up Victor and took him for his one year check up (where he had to get shots.) Then home and with it the fun of sorting through all the pictures and figuring out who gets what.. We are all so tired and Victor is already in bed and I will be going to mine soon.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Short Walking Video
I hope to get more later but once he sees the video camera he isn't interested in much else.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Silly Victor runs in circles
Victor was in a particulary silly mood today and I caught him running in circles and laughing whenever he ran by me.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Blowing kisses
For whatever reason the color is off but turn your sound on and you will see the cutest baby boy blowing kisses at you.
Struggles - by Richard
For most of us, when we become parents, something happens and we begin to change who we are and what our priorities are in life. Up until now, I thought that these changes would be the equivalent of pulling off a band aide, a little painful at first but worth it when it’s done. As my child has recently turned 11 months old, I have learned that having a child continuously changes us and these changes started long before we had the child.
When my wife and I were getting married, we were required by the church to go through a series of marriage prep classes. We were lucky enough to have Deacon Ron take us through our classes. He was a grandfatherly type gentleman with a large family. We could not shock or offend him (except that my Catholic mother was willing to buy my brother and I condoms, but that is another story). During the course of our pre-marriage counseling one part of the questions that came up were around the topic of kids. Things such as did we want children, how many and how did we plan to raise them were topics of discussion.
Preparing for the child that we knew we would one day have was the basis for a lot of our decisions including the type of car we bought, the type of neighborhood we were going to live in and the church we chose. When we toured the house in which we now live Sarah walked into what is now the babies room and said “This is going to be the babies room.” When the first round of fertility didn’t work out and we wanted a dog, we chose a breed that is good with kids.
And yet, from the day that Victor was brought into this world I realized how totally unprepared we were for parenthood. One night when we were having dinner with my mother I made the comment “Mom, you don’t understand how much we are struggling right now, you and dad never struggled like this.” At the age of 33, I never knew to what extent my parents struggled to raise us.
As parents, we make small and large sacrifices for our children, some small and some large, and we do it because we love them. More importantly, we make the sacrifices and our children never know it. For example, today we bought diapers for my son, he didn’t know, care of understand that the $40 for a case of diapers that we spent once was used for meal out my wife and I don’t do anymore. When he goes to daycare, he thinks it’s a part of life, he does not know how much my wife and I agonize over the fact that he goes and that we log in on the internet to see him several times a day. My parents agonized over the similar things, and yet, we never saw it. My mother in law once told me that when it comes to spending money for your child, 1+1 = 3. When we will need the money for something Victor needs, it will work out in a way that won’t make sense if we think about it.
I have said before, my father passed away many years ago, and as my son gets older I find that I miss my father more and more. Several times since my father has passed have I tried to find a similar father figure for my life, and while I have certain friends who come close, I realize that nobody will ever fill that void.
My father sacrificed more than I will ever know so that I could have the opportunities that I have. He left his home in Jerusalem in his early twenties and went to Africa to work. There, he was ostracized, protested against and at one point literally had an angry mob calling for his head (he was not a people person back then). He worked six days a week, 12 – 14 hours a day, all for the kids that he knew he would one day have that he wanted to bring to America to raise. His dream was to have his children come to America and educated in American schools. Before making it to America, he and my mom lived all over the world including Europe (paradise), and then Saudi Arabia (not paradise). When they came here, my father worked 10 – 12 hour days and accomplished some amazing things in his time, once again his motivation was his children. Before he died, he accomplished more in his life than he could have ever hoped for in many regards.
As I agonize over the things a parent agonizes over, I remember that one night I had a fight with my mom about my dad. She asked me why I didn’t talk to him more and I told her there was no point. Whatever the situation that I went to my father with, I would get one of three replies:
Thing positive
Have faith
Life is not always fair, I too struggle and have struggled, its part of life.
The reason that I am reflecting on this is that the past few months with Victor have been challenging to say the least. I have undergone several drastic changes at my job and at home. During these times, I find myself wanting to talk to my dad, although if I stop and think about it, I know what his advice to me will be “God will get you thru it, keep you head up high and realize you will be stronger when you are done.”
At the end of the day, God is, always has been and always will be in control of my life. Nothing that has happened before, now or in the future can happen without him allowing it. Life is roller coaster, the path is laid out, no sense in worrying about the ups and downs, ride them out and enjoy the ride while it lasts.
When my wife and I were getting married, we were required by the church to go through a series of marriage prep classes. We were lucky enough to have Deacon Ron take us through our classes. He was a grandfatherly type gentleman with a large family. We could not shock or offend him (except that my Catholic mother was willing to buy my brother and I condoms, but that is another story). During the course of our pre-marriage counseling one part of the questions that came up were around the topic of kids. Things such as did we want children, how many and how did we plan to raise them were topics of discussion.
Preparing for the child that we knew we would one day have was the basis for a lot of our decisions including the type of car we bought, the type of neighborhood we were going to live in and the church we chose. When we toured the house in which we now live Sarah walked into what is now the babies room and said “This is going to be the babies room.” When the first round of fertility didn’t work out and we wanted a dog, we chose a breed that is good with kids.
And yet, from the day that Victor was brought into this world I realized how totally unprepared we were for parenthood. One night when we were having dinner with my mother I made the comment “Mom, you don’t understand how much we are struggling right now, you and dad never struggled like this.” At the age of 33, I never knew to what extent my parents struggled to raise us.
As parents, we make small and large sacrifices for our children, some small and some large, and we do it because we love them. More importantly, we make the sacrifices and our children never know it. For example, today we bought diapers for my son, he didn’t know, care of understand that the $40 for a case of diapers that we spent once was used for meal out my wife and I don’t do anymore. When he goes to daycare, he thinks it’s a part of life, he does not know how much my wife and I agonize over the fact that he goes and that we log in on the internet to see him several times a day. My parents agonized over the similar things, and yet, we never saw it. My mother in law once told me that when it comes to spending money for your child, 1+1 = 3. When we will need the money for something Victor needs, it will work out in a way that won’t make sense if we think about it.
I have said before, my father passed away many years ago, and as my son gets older I find that I miss my father more and more. Several times since my father has passed have I tried to find a similar father figure for my life, and while I have certain friends who come close, I realize that nobody will ever fill that void.
My father sacrificed more than I will ever know so that I could have the opportunities that I have. He left his home in Jerusalem in his early twenties and went to Africa to work. There, he was ostracized, protested against and at one point literally had an angry mob calling for his head (he was not a people person back then). He worked six days a week, 12 – 14 hours a day, all for the kids that he knew he would one day have that he wanted to bring to America to raise. His dream was to have his children come to America and educated in American schools. Before making it to America, he and my mom lived all over the world including Europe (paradise), and then Saudi Arabia (not paradise). When they came here, my father worked 10 – 12 hour days and accomplished some amazing things in his time, once again his motivation was his children. Before he died, he accomplished more in his life than he could have ever hoped for in many regards.
As I agonize over the things a parent agonizes over, I remember that one night I had a fight with my mom about my dad. She asked me why I didn’t talk to him more and I told her there was no point. Whatever the situation that I went to my father with, I would get one of three replies:
Thing positive
Have faith
Life is not always fair, I too struggle and have struggled, its part of life.
The reason that I am reflecting on this is that the past few months with Victor have been challenging to say the least. I have undergone several drastic changes at my job and at home. During these times, I find myself wanting to talk to my dad, although if I stop and think about it, I know what his advice to me will be “God will get you thru it, keep you head up high and realize you will be stronger when you are done.”
At the end of the day, God is, always has been and always will be in control of my life. Nothing that has happened before, now or in the future can happen without him allowing it. Life is roller coaster, the path is laid out, no sense in worrying about the ups and downs, ride them out and enjoy the ride while it lasts.
Friday, July 3, 2009
The Spaghetti Incident
Well tonight Richard played chef and tried to make homemade spaghettios with pasta and tomato sauce and Victor was not impressed and 1) did NOT want to be fed and 2) got it all over when given the option to feed himself 3) let Otis try some by dropping it over the side but unfortunatly for Otis missed his mouth and the floor.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Richard's Musings on Victor and Adoption
I am writing this in the hopes that it gets sent around and eventually, someone will send this to the stupid people that I seem to get to encounter.
As you all know my son Victor who by the grace of God looks like us is adopted. The fact that he is adopted makes him more special to us because we were chosen by the birth mother. He is my child, he calls me dada , although at this point in time he also calls the dog and the wall dada, he knows that I am one of the people who can make things better. In the middle of the night, when he cries, it is my wife and I who tend to him, we feed him, cloth him and take care of him. He is my child.
My child is a big boy, he is not obese, he is not overweight, as a matter of fact, his doctor is fine with his weight and height. Granted, his is in the upper quarters of the charts, however, he is still on the charts, he is normal and healthy. And yet, we still hear the stupid comments because people forget that, he is my child.
The following is a breakdown of some of the stupidity that we have encountered:
1. At Costco, an old woman walked up to us and said “My, you are a fat one! I didn’t think that they made them like you anymore. You are cute though.” I was too shocked to say anything, like George Costanza, I came up with several comebacks, but by then it was too late.
2. A woman made the comment “I am sure you were stressed when you brought him home, but it’s different with a real child.” Apparently, when a child is adopted, they are not real, this was a relief for me and I called all our friends who have adopted and told them not to worry about their kids, they are not real.
3. The details of my son’s birth situation are nobody’s business but those of mine, my wife, him (when is older) and the adoption agency. I am sorry to disappoint the many people who wanted to hear a horrible tale of hardship and why my child was put for adoption. When we say that the birth mother was a very sweet person and that our son takes after her, don’t look so disappointed at the lack of drama. You don’t see me asking women “Was the birth of your child the most painful and horrible thing ever? Tell me all about it, I don’t want to miss a detail.” and then be disappointed if it was not.
4. It’s not okay to ask us the cost of the adoption, does it really matter? For those who want to adopt, we point them in the direction of the consultant that helped us, she will discuss cost. My neighbor across the street just had a baby, I am not going to ask them “What was your total out of pocket between pregnancy and child birth, I heard it can expensive.”
5. The choice to adopt is not one that couples come to lightly, when we decided to adopt, I didn’t want to feel like we were settling. When we finally finished the process, we had to really want to do it, otherwise we would have given up along the way. Please don’t make comments along the lines of “Now that you adopted, you will have kids of your own in no time.” Infertility is a medical condition, as much as we would like to think it is all in the woman or mans head. The fact that we adopted does not suddenly cure the complex issues of fertility, if they did, then all the doctors who have chosen to specialize in fertility issues can be trained in a matter of minutes. Forget the complex series of biological occurrences that have to occur for pregnancy, they will just refer their patients to adoption agencies. In spite of the fact that you think you have heard of many people who suddenly get pregnant after adoption, the odds are 1 in 20 that after an adoption occurs do the couple conceive on their own. And in the cases of twins, it was probably IVF where the instance of twins is higher. For the record, Octo-mom is a miracle, feel about her and her situation as you may, anything more than twins being carried long enough to be healthy is very slim.
6. When we said that we were going to adopt, a friend of mine asked me if I was shooting blanks. Any issues of fertility are sensitive and between the couple and their doctor, once again, does it matter?
7. My son is going to be an only child, this is a decision that my wife and I have made and feel that it’s the best decision for our child and our family situation. Unless you plan to pay for and care for any child after the first, please don’t tell me that we need more than one. If you want me to have more than one, take it up with God, in the end, it’s going to be his choice as to how many we have to begin with.
Our child is one month and a few days shy of his first birthday. I have enjoyed each stage of his life so far, and I have no desire to repeat it. I now understand why parents with kids older than mine enjoy him so much. Just because they want to hold a baby again does not mean that they want to raise another one. For those couples out there who chose not to have kids for any reason, good for you. From the time that my wife and I got married to the day that we bought Victor home, our life was about being parents. We chose the house, set up our finances and even picked a breed of dog that would be suitable for a small child. And yet, we were a complete couple without our son, he just took us to a different level, one of less money and sleep but a sense of fulfillment that I could never imagine.
As you all know my son Victor who by the grace of God looks like us is adopted. The fact that he is adopted makes him more special to us because we were chosen by the birth mother. He is my child, he calls me dada , although at this point in time he also calls the dog and the wall dada, he knows that I am one of the people who can make things better. In the middle of the night, when he cries, it is my wife and I who tend to him, we feed him, cloth him and take care of him. He is my child.
My child is a big boy, he is not obese, he is not overweight, as a matter of fact, his doctor is fine with his weight and height. Granted, his is in the upper quarters of the charts, however, he is still on the charts, he is normal and healthy. And yet, we still hear the stupid comments because people forget that, he is my child.
The following is a breakdown of some of the stupidity that we have encountered:
1. At Costco, an old woman walked up to us and said “My, you are a fat one! I didn’t think that they made them like you anymore. You are cute though.” I was too shocked to say anything, like George Costanza, I came up with several comebacks, but by then it was too late.
2. A woman made the comment “I am sure you were stressed when you brought him home, but it’s different with a real child.” Apparently, when a child is adopted, they are not real, this was a relief for me and I called all our friends who have adopted and told them not to worry about their kids, they are not real.
3. The details of my son’s birth situation are nobody’s business but those of mine, my wife, him (when is older) and the adoption agency. I am sorry to disappoint the many people who wanted to hear a horrible tale of hardship and why my child was put for adoption. When we say that the birth mother was a very sweet person and that our son takes after her, don’t look so disappointed at the lack of drama. You don’t see me asking women “Was the birth of your child the most painful and horrible thing ever? Tell me all about it, I don’t want to miss a detail.” and then be disappointed if it was not.
4. It’s not okay to ask us the cost of the adoption, does it really matter? For those who want to adopt, we point them in the direction of the consultant that helped us, she will discuss cost. My neighbor across the street just had a baby, I am not going to ask them “What was your total out of pocket between pregnancy and child birth, I heard it can expensive.”
5. The choice to adopt is not one that couples come to lightly, when we decided to adopt, I didn’t want to feel like we were settling. When we finally finished the process, we had to really want to do it, otherwise we would have given up along the way. Please don’t make comments along the lines of “Now that you adopted, you will have kids of your own in no time.” Infertility is a medical condition, as much as we would like to think it is all in the woman or mans head. The fact that we adopted does not suddenly cure the complex issues of fertility, if they did, then all the doctors who have chosen to specialize in fertility issues can be trained in a matter of minutes. Forget the complex series of biological occurrences that have to occur for pregnancy, they will just refer their patients to adoption agencies. In spite of the fact that you think you have heard of many people who suddenly get pregnant after adoption, the odds are 1 in 20 that after an adoption occurs do the couple conceive on their own. And in the cases of twins, it was probably IVF where the instance of twins is higher. For the record, Octo-mom is a miracle, feel about her and her situation as you may, anything more than twins being carried long enough to be healthy is very slim.
6. When we said that we were going to adopt, a friend of mine asked me if I was shooting blanks. Any issues of fertility are sensitive and between the couple and their doctor, once again, does it matter?
7. My son is going to be an only child, this is a decision that my wife and I have made and feel that it’s the best decision for our child and our family situation. Unless you plan to pay for and care for any child after the first, please don’t tell me that we need more than one. If you want me to have more than one, take it up with God, in the end, it’s going to be his choice as to how many we have to begin with.
Our child is one month and a few days shy of his first birthday. I have enjoyed each stage of his life so far, and I have no desire to repeat it. I now understand why parents with kids older than mine enjoy him so much. Just because they want to hold a baby again does not mean that they want to raise another one. For those couples out there who chose not to have kids for any reason, good for you. From the time that my wife and I got married to the day that we bought Victor home, our life was about being parents. We chose the house, set up our finances and even picked a breed of dog that would be suitable for a small child. And yet, we were a complete couple without our son, he just took us to a different level, one of less money and sleep but a sense of fulfillment that I could never imagine.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Father's Day
A posting by Richard with pictures by Sarah (as is life with a child he didn't want to cooperate)
The first time that they placed Victor in my arms, I didn’t have the moment of awe and love, I had fear, pure fear. I was afraid that I would drop the child, I was afraid to cough on him and give him the pneumonia that I had two days prior. I was afraid to offend the birth mother in someway and she would change her mind and not let us have this child that we were totally unprepared to take care of.
Fatherhood is full of wonderful things; there are the baby smiles and giggles, hearing my wife scream when he pees on her. The best part however is the way he looks at me, if it’s because I have bottle or because I have come home from a long day, he has this way of looking at me that melts my heart. After a bad day, I come home in a foul mood, he smiles and then I realize, nothing that has happened that day matters, just him and my wife.
It is with this in mind that I write about Fathers day, up until my dad died, Father’s day was always about my dad, and then my brother and my dad once my brother became a father. I have memories of family lunches or dinners, sometimes cheesy gifts and I look back, I see a sense of obligation they felt to the family to spend their day being doted on.
When I think about how much my father struggled to survive, and for him, it was a matter of survival, I realize now that I had no clue what he went through. This was because no matter how much he struggled, we never really saw it. My father and mother would go without new clothes and vacations so that my brother and I could have whatever we wanted (within reason). My father worked long hours and some weekends to make sure that we didn’t struggle like he did. My bother worked two jobs and went to school for a good portion of his kids lives so that he could provide them with a better life.
I say all this because when I started to make my plans for my first Father’s day, all my plans quickly fell apart. This was because I made the mistake of a new father I thought it was about me, it’s not, and from the moment that they placed Victor in my arms till the day I die, it will never be about me anymore. Instead, like my father and my brother, my life is about my boys Victor and Otis. I know that Otis is a dog and my love for him pales in comparison to my love for my child, but there is still a strong bond between me and the dog that will be with me forever.
As I type this, I realize that while on some level I am a little envious of my friends who are dual income and no kids, I don’t miss that life. Before Sarah and I had Victor and Otis, I remember how boring my life was. Sure, I can do without the explosive diapers and late night crying, but that is what I believe helped me form a bond with my child. And while my feelings would not be hurt if my child never threw up on me or the carpet again, I realize I would sooner deal with that than I would a life without baby giggles and baby smiles.
The first time that they placed Victor in my arms, I didn’t have the moment of awe and love, I had fear, pure fear. I was afraid that I would drop the child, I was afraid to cough on him and give him the pneumonia that I had two days prior. I was afraid to offend the birth mother in someway and she would change her mind and not let us have this child that we were totally unprepared to take care of.
Fatherhood is full of wonderful things; there are the baby smiles and giggles, hearing my wife scream when he pees on her. The best part however is the way he looks at me, if it’s because I have bottle or because I have come home from a long day, he has this way of looking at me that melts my heart. After a bad day, I come home in a foul mood, he smiles and then I realize, nothing that has happened that day matters, just him and my wife.
It is with this in mind that I write about Fathers day, up until my dad died, Father’s day was always about my dad, and then my brother and my dad once my brother became a father. I have memories of family lunches or dinners, sometimes cheesy gifts and I look back, I see a sense of obligation they felt to the family to spend their day being doted on.
When I think about how much my father struggled to survive, and for him, it was a matter of survival, I realize now that I had no clue what he went through. This was because no matter how much he struggled, we never really saw it. My father and mother would go without new clothes and vacations so that my brother and I could have whatever we wanted (within reason). My father worked long hours and some weekends to make sure that we didn’t struggle like he did. My bother worked two jobs and went to school for a good portion of his kids lives so that he could provide them with a better life.
I say all this because when I started to make my plans for my first Father’s day, all my plans quickly fell apart. This was because I made the mistake of a new father I thought it was about me, it’s not, and from the moment that they placed Victor in my arms till the day I die, it will never be about me anymore. Instead, like my father and my brother, my life is about my boys Victor and Otis. I know that Otis is a dog and my love for him pales in comparison to my love for my child, but there is still a strong bond between me and the dog that will be with me forever.
As I type this, I realize that while on some level I am a little envious of my friends who are dual income and no kids, I don’t miss that life. Before Sarah and I had Victor and Otis, I remember how boring my life was. Sure, I can do without the explosive diapers and late night crying, but that is what I believe helped me form a bond with my child. And while my feelings would not be hurt if my child never threw up on me or the carpet again, I realize I would sooner deal with that than I would a life without baby giggles and baby smiles.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Its been awhile
Well we have had alot going on and not much going on at the same time but its been so long since I have written anything I felt I should write something. After Florida Victor got pretty sick with throwing up and the poos which lasted for over a week. He started full time in his new room in daycare, has been to the pool again and actually had a good time. Basically we have just been status quo trying to get back in life's routine. This past week he was poo sick again but as usual no fever but ah ha! a new tooth showed up yesterday so hopefully all the crankiness we went through was worth it. Grandma just sent us some new clothes and of course victor's favorite thing was the box. Here are some pictures (blurry cause he wouldn't stay still). Also with all the crawling and pulling up on stuff he has become quite the bruiser, always has some sort of bump or scratch on him.
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