Several years ago I was on what was becoming my annual vacation to Vancouver. While at the airport and waiting for my car, I was standing next to an older gentleman who was looking frazzled and had several children with him and a wife. Two cars were pulled up, mine, the bright red Mustang convertible, and then his, an older looking mini van. He saw what I was driving the conversation went something like:
Stranger: Is that your car?
Me (laughing): Yeah, is the minivan yours?
Stranger: Yeah, are you married? Do you have any kids?
Me: No, and never will be and don’t want kids.
Stranger: Then enjoy your life and be the biggest pig you can be, once you are married, it’s no longer about you.
I drove off and never forgot about that conversation. Many years later when they placed Victor in my arms for the first time I had to stop being a pig, as a looked at the child and began to wonder now what, I had no clue what life had in store for me. While I like to think that I have settled fairly nicely into fatherhood, NOTHING could have prepared me for my first vacation with my family. Over the next week, any remainder of the young single guy who traveled alone in Canada with nothing more than a backpack and ate steak dinners almost every night has truly vanished as I gladly took on the role of married man with a baby.
The adventure began with us making the decision that between two fully capable adults, a nine month old baby was not too much of a challenge and Victor could ride on our laps on the airplane. We were able to time our vacation with that of a friend of mine who wanted to come to Houston to visit some old friends. In exchange for house and pet sitting, he would use our car and then be the person who picked us up and dropped us off at the airport. The night before, we played Tetris with the bags and the stroller until we were finally able to get everything loaded into the car with one bag riding next to the baby on the way to the airport. Checking in was quick, however someone alerted the airport that an Arab baby was going to be on the plane and decided that with his blond hair, he must be a decoy and therefore made us take his shoes off to go through security. I wanted to tell the guy fine, but he was going to put them back on, since he has obviously never put shoes on a toddler. Since 9/11 however, I have learned that any attention at the airport is bad, so I kept quiet. When we made it to the plane, it took us a while to settle in the seat a part of this process was making Victor his milk. He saw it and since he was not going to get it right away proceeded to have a total meltdown until we got settled. He finished his milk and started to nuzzle in when the flight attendant came by and told Sarah to make sure that he has something to suck on to help relieve the pressure from takeoff. Sarah told her we were not worried since he had ear tubes, the woman was oblivious and repeated what she said, so did Sarah, after three rounds the lady walked away.
While Victor slept thru the first part of the flight, he made up for the energy that he didn’t burn in the second half of the flight. We tried everything that we could to entertain him; but he was not to be entertained. The best we could come up with was feed him Cheerios; however there is a limit to how many we could carry on the plane the supply was quickly becoming depleted. The second half of the flight was such a joy that Sarah and I agreed that budget be damned, we were going to buy the kid a ticket on the flight back. As we trudged thru the airport with a baby, a stroller, Sarah’s one bad knee and one really bad knee, the car seat and base, I knew traveling again would never be the same. As we approached the baggage claim and God smiled on us as our luggage was the first one out, he then laughed at us when we went to get a our rental car.
As a fully capable man, I never allow anyone to help me with my bags, part of it is because I am cheap, and another part of it is pride. Having a child is not cheap and I have learned to pay for the convenience of things. Pride is one of the seven deadly sins I have learned as well as humility and changing a diaper while being laughed at and then peed on by a small child teaches you humility. As I struggled to get on and of the shuttle, I was all too glad to have the help of the driver, probably a guy who travels and drives Mustangs. Once we finally made it to the rental place, it took an hour to get through the line and 30 minutes to check out. It was our luck that they were starting a new computer system. This of course was made all the more annoying by the fact that it was hot as a Houston day in the summer, the baby was going to skip a meal (to be supplemented by Cheerios that Sarah wisely rationed out from the plane) and we had excited grandparents waiting for us.
After struggling with the lines and playing Tetris to get all our bags loaded (never had that problem before), we grabbed a quick bite to eat and headed to the grandparents. Once on the road and Sarah made us stop for boiled peanuts, every time we said boiled peanuts, the baby got upset, (his nickname is peanut) I think he was just fussy, that or he was telling us that he is the only peanut and he already felt like he was boiling.
Eventually we made it to grandma and grandpas, just in time for dinner for Victor. The best thing about grandparents is that they think feeding the child dinner is a treat; we didn't fight them on that. Shortly after, we headed to the family condo and got settled in and Sarah gave Victor a bath in the shower, we gave him his final bottle of milk and put him to bed in time to eat dinner that the grandparents were kind enough to bring. Shortly after diner our first night, Victor woke up and made it clear that he was NOT going to go back to sleep, so we hung out and eventually, he settled down and went to sleep after having his second final bottle of milk. The next morning was Mother’s Day, we went to Sarah's parents first and then to her uncle Andy's who hosted the holiday for the family this year. This was one of the best Mothers Days I remembered, Victor charmed everyone he saw, Sarah got to see old friends of her mother, I spent quality time with the family and Victor was not too fussy. That night Sarah gave Victor his first bath in the sink, once he got the concept he was fine with it. Later during the vacation, he would try and grab the detachable hose and eat it or spray us.
Monday we had two big adventures, the first was Victor’s first real trip to the beach. While this was his third visit, this was his first trip. The first time Sarah took him to the water he looked at it and didn't like what he saw. She dipped his legs in the water, he began to cry. The second trip was Sunday, I held him and stood a little more than ankle deep in the water, he was not amused. For some reason, we thought today would be better. The adventure began with getting to the beach, while I distracted the child from the fact that momma was not in the room, Sarah got everything ready. After 20 minutes of getting ready, we walked the 50 yards to the water and Victor began to look nervous as we got closer. We tested him in the sand and he was not pleased, so Sarah set him down on a beach towel and he did fine. We then put a little sand on him which he picked up, ate a little and decided it was not such a horrible thing. Right as we were feeling hope that the morning at the beach would go well, he rubbed his eye and it was all over. While we will never know exactly how much sand got in his eye since we quickly washed it out, the trauma was enough to make him not want to sit in the sand again. Determined that we will have fun, we tried to build sand castles using the beach toys from condo but Victor wanted nothing to do it and just clung to me. After about 20 minutes we headed back. Sarah gave Victor a quick bath in the sink and then the baby promptly went down for a two hour nap.
The second cool thing was we got see the last launch of the shuttle. Sarah’s Uncle Andy has nice boat and he and her dad took us to a spot that was perfect for watching the launch from the water. Someone (marine authority) got a little testy b/c there was a submarine leaving at the same time and the guys yelled at us to turn around (with a finger on the trigger of his machine gun mind you). We waited until they left and then got to the launching point, and Victor promptly fell asleep with the rocking of the boat. It was so cool to see the shuttle launch and then hear it. Since I was getting sea sick, we made a quick trip back to shore which was funny in that Victor didn’t like the wind in his ears and held his hands over them the whole time.
When planning this trip, two things that were on our must do list were a trip to the zoo and going swimming in one of the many family pools. The people who designed the Brevard county zoo had kids in mind, first the overall layout of the zoo is one small circle with each animal exhibit branching off. This allows for a quick getaway any time a kid gets cranky (which I am proud to say was never the case with Victor). In addition to the design, there is a Paws On section that is devoted entirely to kids where kids can play in water, touch animals and play veterinarian with stuffed animals. Everyone at the zoo acted as if they had nothing to do but talk to us. While I am not sure how much Victor understood of what was going on, Grandma, Uncle Andy, Sarah and I all truly enjoyed ourselves. That night Sarah and I had dinner with her Uncle Andy, Aunt Christine and cousin Lauren. We enjoyed the meal and grandma and grandpa enjoyed babysitting and spoiling Victor.
The other truly memorable part of the trip was the trip to Uncle Jim’s pool. When we pulled in, Jim was waiting for us with his two older cocker spaniels, Buddy and Henry. Buddy is deaf and therefore was immune to Victor’s squeals of delight at the sight of a dog. Henry on the other hand has his hearing would not leave Jim’s side the entire time we were there and was visibly nervous about Victor although he was interested in what the small thing was. Once we got ready to enter to pool, I went in first and then made the mistake of submerging Victor up to his chest in the water. My rationale at the time was that we would get it over with, Victor didn’t like that any more than the ocean and the sand and let us know. He eventually got used to the water and did some splashing so we have some hope for going to the pools in the neighborhood with him this summer.
The plane ride back was fairly uneventful, Victor has his own seat and slept for the first half and only needed to be walked once for the second half of the flight. Our big adventure on the plane was trying to change the baby’s diaper in the bathroom without a baby changing station. I will not comment on how I did it, I will just say it was traumatizing for the two of us.
There are so many other things that occurred that made this the best vacation we have had in years. Many wonderful memories will be cherished as a result of our trip, including Lauren, Sarah’s cousin being the first Vegetarian that I have met that didn’t like vegetables.
